Update on Slut-o-ween

In my post below about the so called "Slutoween", I talk about the current debate about women and girls dressing in sexy costumes.

Well, now I've gotten a last minute assignment to Nashville during Halloween.

I find myself pondering where I should go on Tuesday night to people watch. It sucks being alone on the road sometimes, but I'm used to it.

Since I'm staying at the Doubletree on 4th, I'm in walking distance of all the hottest clubs. Problem is, its always hard to figure out which ones are for 30-somethings vs. the college crowd. I'm not interested in the latter. And places for the "more aged" crowd are much harder to find.

Update; October 31

Well I kidded around a lot about what I was going to do on Halloween while I was in Nashville.

I even had some nice folks post comments and send me emails with some very good suggestions. When it was all said and done, here's what I decided.

First...let me back up. Keep in mind that I had the option of roaming around Nashville alone, with all the freedom to see how the women were dressing (or dressing down) this year. I could have sat at the bar, had some drinks, and glanced around in feigned disinterest at asses of various sizes. However...that's not what I did.

What I did instead was decide at about 11 a.m. I could get all my work done by 5:00 today. So I walked across to the hotel and asked if they would let me check out and cancel for tonight. They did.

So I drove home, and that's where I am now. Of course, I got home too late to see the kids in their costumes. But at least I got to kiss em goodnight.

I think my decision came down to the fact that not once in 41 years have I been alone on Halloween. Not once. And even though I was technically alone during the drive home, which coincided with the peak trick-or-treat times...I was still HEADING to be with loved ones. In my mind that counts.

Perhaps someday I will be alone on Halloween or maybe many other holidays. But why go that route when I have a choice?

A Prayer for Owen Meany

This book is on my recommended list. I got to thinking about it due to the column I just linked to by Fred Reed. In it, Fred said this:

So many of the Jewish crimes popular on the email circuit don’t stand up to examination. For instance, I hear repeatedly that during Vietnam America won in the field but that Jews stabbed Our Boys in the back by means of the anti-war movement, thus seeking to promote godless atheistic communism.

Not quite. The leadership of the anti-war movement was heavily Jewish. The movement itself was overwhelmingly Christian. At the conservative Southern college I attended, the studentry to a boy wanted no part of the war. It wasn’t because of Jewish anything. It was because they didn’t want to get shot. Their girlfriends didn’t want them to get shot, nor did their parents.

This made me think of the title character of John Irving's classic.

Owen Meany, who ended up volunteering for service in Vietnam, said that anti-war protesters were wrong about one thing: The Draft. He said the draft was the only chance the US had of getting out of Vietnam.

Why? His quote is something like, "Unless Americans are affected with their health or their wallet, they don't care enough about anything to rise up against it."

In other words, without the draft there would have BEEN NO anti-war movement.

How relevant this is for today. Don't you know that college campuses everywhere would be in a MUCH larger uproar over the constantly changing "reasons" for the Iraq war if THEY thought they might have to go?

So would parents of teenagers....middle America across this country. They would be doing more than answering polls negatively about Bush and Congress. They would be in the streets if their sons were being drafted, or about to reach draft age.

I'm convinced this is the reason there hasn't BEEN a draft. Dick Cheney knows this simple fact. Even if the volunteer army is too small to ever win, he can't afford a draft, because then his war would be stopped dead in its tracks.

Every man should read "A Prayer for Owen Meany". And every woman I know who has read it also loved it. At the Episcopal school my parish is associated with, every senior boy is required to read it.


This article was chosen to be a part of the Decline of Democracy, a service of Ken Goldstein and Blog Carnival. Check it out.

Slutoween (Slut-o-ween?)

Good articles and discussions on this topic at Slate's Broadsheet today.
After reading all the comments, I can't really decide where I stand on this one, except that girls shouldn't wear this stuff. Problem is, how do you prevent that, when so many of the college-age and young adult women wear them?

I figure this is causing some terrible brawls between 15 year-olds and their mothers this week.

One comment that really made me shake my head. Here's an anonymous poster responding to other comments:

Actually, many women do dress as slutty as possible because it gets male approval and attention. It's a western version of the taliban telling women to completely cover. Once women hit middle aged, they are expected to fade into the backround and go away. If men had their way, women and girls would walk around completely nude until they were about 30, then put on a burqua. That would be a male dream. If men had their way, women would still not be allowed to vote or drive or attend universities. That way, they could get all the resources for themselves but still get cleaning services and p***y from women.

I remember being encouraged to dress slutty as a young woman by guys and criticized for not partying enough. But I wasn't about to let men waste my time. I'm glad, because once I hit middle age I found myself invisible. I have been laughed at in the face several times by even offering a neighborhood "hello" while walking down the street in broad daylight by men who assumed I was hitting on them. Middle aged women in this country don't have to wear a burqua to be invisible, we already are, which doesn't bother me a bit. But girls at an increasingly younger and younger age are coerced into being sexual way to young, or even if it doesn't match their personality. If you have a personality like say J.Lo that wants to exude sexuality, fine. But many conservative, scholarly sorts are bullied into being what they are not just to be accepted.

Ladies, don't waste your time and energy looking for male approval. Men aren't worth it. Be true to yourself. We should encourage young women to focus their time and energy on themselves, through sports, musical or academic interests. Are boys encouraged to be hypersexualized at 13 to make themselves acceptable for older women? Hell no. Don't abuse females in this manner. There is an overemphasis on sexuality in this culture. So much of it exploitative and coerced.

Bless this woman's heart, as we say in Mississippi. Can you imagine having this drastic worldview and being this unhappy? Can you imagine REALLY believing this perception that men have laughed in her face because she told them "hello" because they thought she was hitting on them? I really hurt for this person.

I'm in airports, hotel lobbies, and restaurant bars every week, and people don't act like this, either in a "laugh in your face" way, or in believing that "hello" means "hitting on". "Hello" is simply a greeting, admittedly not always getting a response, but usually so.

In no way do I believe that in her own neighborhood, therefore, that she has been laughed at overtly on multiple occasions. Is she therefore "lying"? No...that's the pitiful thing...this is her perception...and perceptions can lead to terrible fears, sadness, and even death.

This is why I've always worked to think through and manage my perceptions.

What does this have to do with Slutoween costumes? Perhaps the foundation of this entire issue is perceptions. The perceptions of those who wear the revealing outfits, those who view them, and those who judge them as "slutty".

And one last very important point: The most revealing look into this lady's psyche is her belief that THIRTY is the age of initial irrelevance for women. What a load of crap.

I'm 41, and this 22-to-26 crowd who buys the largest number of these costumes gets nothing from me besides a totally surface glance in appreciation for the female anatomy.

I would be shocked if I were to ever choose a dance partner under the age of 30. Perhaps that group is more ready, willing, and able...I don't know. But in my view, you can't beat the beauty of a WOMAN. Nor can you beat the mind of a woman, and a recent college graduate has not had the experiences to develop that great mind.

And lastly, not to get graphic, but aging has led me to one last observation. Women "learn" what truly pleases them after 30, and in any true intimate experience, that is the ultimate factor in real passion....the pleasure of the woman.

Damn, how did the cat costume get me going on that???

On Edit...Thanks to Chic Mom for sharing DesignHer Gals at her blog. This site is a bit like paper dolls, but with many more options. I was thinking that this could be one proactive answer to the Slinky Cat Suit debate....A site that allows you to play around with a "look" before you go to the Goodwill searching.

10/29/06: This is a featured article in "The Carnival of the Insanities". Thanks to Dr. Sanity for including me.

Book Recommendation

How Postmodernism Saved My Faith by Crystal L. Downing

I have a crush on the author, and I don't even know how old she is.

This professor of English at Messiah College on the west coast has taken the difficult philosophy of Derrida and others and made it palatable.

If you hear "Postmodernism" tossed about as the scourge of our day, this is the book you should read. Not that it will change your mind, but it will, I think, show you how a questioning, cognizant individual can still be a committed Christian as Dr. Downing most certainly is.

(She doesn't say she is Episcopalian, but I'm betting on it.)

Speaking of the crush, does anyone else do this? I never get a crush on someone I SEE as a normal human being might. Instead I notice those women who are well spoken, well read, and well credentialed.

There was a story yesterday in the Atlanta Journal Constitution (I think) about how traditional thought said that high achieving women turned men off, but the research says the opposite. I can't link the story, cause I can't find it.

Is this news to anyone? Who WOULDN'T want a wife with a brain and a million dollar salary?

Dr. Downing, I likes ya, wherever you are.